


Joking Around (Or Raven Did What!?)

by Jayenator565, sincerely_v



Series: It's All About Those Moments In Between [5]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fluff, also mention of brownies, and uh moonshine, beware the golden dildo, i've been told it's my thing, if you know what i mean, it's cracky fluff, oh well, some get high, they get drunk, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-31
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-30 06:36:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6412963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayenator565/pseuds/Jayenator565, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerely_v/pseuds/sincerely_v
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, let me get this straight or whatever. Raven did what!? </p><p>The sequel I put off for a very long time but hey I think the fandom needs more random crack like fun</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hooked On a Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy the fluff off, hope I did ok on this but...we'll see. It is gonna be a multichapter once the fluff off is done. Be sure to read the other fics and kudos your favorites!

It was hands on necks and drifting down backs. Circling around collar bones and travelling to territory long gone unexplored but for the tentative brush of curious digits in solitary moments. As scarce as they were.

It was a night she would do well to never forget. Not like she could.

 

The feel of Lexa’s lips

The sound of her sighs

As she was held

As she held her

 

It was those moments Clarke had come to treasure the most and found herself reminiscing on even as her friends corralled themselves with stories by the bonfire.

It was just another one of those nights. Where the moon was glistening through the tender folds of the leaves above, leaving just enough light for the teen delinquents to feel safe enough in its shadows to let loose of their responsibilities and allow their inhibitions to run free.

A calm night, a night filled with laughter and stories, song and drunken rambling. In her words this was simply...peaceful.

“So wait. No, hold up, wait a frigging second. Raven did what!?”

...well it was peaceful.

“Raven Reyes over here single-handedly started the grounder civil war of 2150, thrusting the Arkers and the Grounders into a 48 hour long battle led by Anya against those that disrespected the spirits and thrust us into what is now known as the Golden Age.”

“ _Only_ 48 hours?” Aden exclaimed both awed and deeply concerned

Raven groaned from her seat, boroughing further into Bellamy’s side as he attempted to ward off his sister’s teasing and repeated side jabs as Octavia excitedly regaled the group with her tale about the many ways that Raven had messed up.

“Well it would have been longer if we-” Clarke piped in

“We?” Bellamy asked curiously

“Lexa and I…If we hadn’t stepped in and effectively separated both sides they would have eventually wiped each other out.”

“Oh come on you have to admit the grounders overreacted at least a little bit.”  

At that Echo, Aden and Ryder made to glare at her but otherwise remained seated, much to the young genius’ relief. Gustus barely refrained from rolling his eyes at her.

Raven turned to Monroe muttering under her breath, “Not my fault, they wanna fight me over a ‘sacred golden horn’. Like damn, It’s not like I broke it on purpose.”

Zoe snorted, “I still can’t stop seeing Clarke’s face when she finally finished explaining the concept of the golden glass dildo. We sky people literally ushered in the age of sex toys on the ground.”

“Hey!” Harper smacked her girlfriend lightly on the arm, moving to cover Aden’s bewildered ears, “oNay exsay alktay aroundyay ethay ittlelay oneyay.”

Everyone turned wide eyed to the other blonde, until Miller broke the silence, “Excuse my french but, the fuck did you just say Harp?”

Monroe rolled her eyes, pressing a kiss to her dorky girlfriend who somehow spoke fluent pig’s latin. Don’t mind her own dorkiness at completely understanding what was said.

 

“Come on Harp, the kid can’t be sheltered forever.”

“So we’re just not gonna explain what she said or…” a hand on his shoulder from Monty was enough to swipe the incredulous look from his boyfriend’s face.

Monroe rest a hand on her girlfriend’s waist leaning over so she could face the young Night blood, “If anything he could learn alot from us.”

Bellamy scoffed at that, “We aren’t teaching the kid about sex Monroe.”

Zoe crossed her arms on the verge of pouting, “Someone’s gotta have the talk with him. Who’s gonna teach him to cloak his joker before her pokes him or her.”

“Or they.” Jasper chimed in finally following their conversation meanwhile Raven and Octavia saw a prime opportunity that they couldn’t afford to waste.

“Yea Bell.” His sister said turning her innocent smile on him, “We gotta teach him to cover his stump before he jumps.”

“...Huh?”

The mechanic swung an arm around Octavia’s shoulder hoisting her glass high, “You can’t go wrong if you shield your dong!”

“Oh my god.” Clarke groaned into her hands. Apparently Raven and Octavia were already that drunk. That drunk being the phase where they constantly tried to one up each other. It usually came straight after the low key mischief stage and was almost always immediately followed by the lewd comments and hyperactivity stages. One of these days she really should ask Monty and Jasper what goes into making their Moonshine.

 

“If she’s eager protect her beaver.”

 

“Cloak your throbber before you top her!”

 

“If you think they’re spunky cover your monkey!”

 

“If you really love her wear a cover!”

 

“Ladies, ladies. You’re scaring and most likely confusing my lil buddy over here. Come here kid let me set you straight...er not to say I couldn’t set you gay that’s just not really my firte, not that there’s anything not cool about that cause we’re all cool about everything and hey there’s even bi too! Clarke is bi! But anyway no...nope I am digressing infinitesimally.” Jasper ambled over, tipping precariously to the side, but managed to be righted by Lincoln before reaching Aden and leaning on his head.

 

“Now you listen to me ok, all that matters is, if you’re not going to sack it go home and whack it. If they go reverse cowgirl make sure your wiener is wrapped before it touches her beaver.”

“Jasper!” Bellamy reached over and gave him a hard smack upside his head.

“Ow!” The lanky boy shrunk away and hissed, hiding behind Monroe

Miller, cocked his head, brows furrowed, “But wait...why reverse cowgirl?”

“Hhiisssssss- huh?” Jasper popped up from behind Monroe to lumber over to Miller and Monty.

“Why did you use reverse cowgirl specifically in your analogy?”

Now more than a few pairs of curious eyes turned to the conversation, “Psh it was just the first thing I thought of. I mean if I had to choose it would probably be my favorite position.”

Octavia took a long swig of her drink seeming to contemplate before nodding, “Missionary.”

“Missionary O, really? Wow I never pictured Lincoln as that kind of guy.”

“And what kind of guy is that Reyes?”

“I dunno I just always saw you riding on his ass.”

 

Octavia had to refrain from rolling her eyes, nevermind the fact that her friend had actually thought about what positions she and Lincoln would frequent in the privacy of their home, she’d have a talk about that later.

 

“Have you seen my man, Rae? The guy’s a freaking god.” Clarke could tell from the uninhibited way her friends were talking about the grounder who was still firmly in their presence that her friends were very close to what she would call the chaotic drunk stage.

“Mmhmm that body.” Octavia grinned, clinking bottles with Harper who immediately turned to press a kiss to the side of Monroe’s head, “He’s got nothing on you though baby.”

A round of awws ensued at the pink tint that appeared on Zoe’s cheeks well awws from everyone but Bellamy, who had heard entirely too much about his sister’s love life in the past hour to not be forever scarred, and Clarke who had just stepped out with Aden to stop the boy from becoming scarred by her friends. Both emotionally and physically...

 

“Missionary, eh to each his own.”, The mechanic threw back a hearty helping of the grounder juice in her cup 

“And what exactly are you into Rae?”

“Ehh? You trying to kink shame me Octavia Blake?” She nudged the younger girl playfully causing her to chuckle. They both knew Octavia was into some kinky shit, though admittedly it was nowhere near as kinky as whatever the hell they once heard from Monty and Miller’s tent when they thought everyone was asleep…

“Octavia why is it that you seek to shame Reivon kom Skaikru?”

 

\--

 

Ok.” Clarke stood up a ways away from the group surrounded by the calm forest, “I will sneak you some pie if you promise not to repeat any of what was said to Heda.”

“Throw in some chocolate cake?”

The leader narrowed her eyes but conceded, “You have been spending way too much time with Octavia...but fine. So we have a deal?”

“Sure thing mom.”

 

“What did you just say?”

 

“Nothing!”

 

“What?”

 

“What?”

 

“...just, just go.”

 

\--

 

Everyone but Lincoln and Ryder had jumped as the Commander appeared from the trees behind the clearing the group was currently using to hang out in. After their two year peace it was common for them to meet up every week or so in order to catch up with each other.

 

“Heda.” Echoed from the grounders as the scared shitless Skaikru recovered from their jump scare and Octavia attempted to hide behind Lincoln.

 

Lexa turned her burning stare on Indra’s Second, “I have made a promise to Clarke not to kill you Okteivia but she never spoke to harm born from punishment. You should not seek to shame the close friends of Wanheda even if you too are a close friend. Are you trying to ignite a battle Okteivia? To shame Wanheda’s friend is to shame Wanheda and I cannot let that stand.”

 

Because Lincoln too had been coerced into a few shots he immediately flew into a state of panic and sunk to his knees singing Heda’s praises in Trigedasleng while simultaneously begging for forgiveness.  

 

Bellamy was thankfully more level headed and stepped in, “Woah woah now. Hey there Commander. Commander of the blood, Heda, Uniter of the Thirteen, The Ruthless Revolutionary, Leksa kom Trikru...where was I going with this?”

 

Unfortunately being more level headed than Lincoln wasn’t really that much closer to being sober.

 

Octavia groaned seeing she’d have to come to her own defense, “Forget those two, I wasn’t trying to shame Raven really we were just having a few laughs you know joking around.”

 

Octavia was mentally patting her drunken self on the back glad she was still articulate...until of course she saw the Commander’s gaze harden and had the fear of Lexa strike her heart.

 

“...joking around? Do you believe me to be stupid Okteivia kom trikru?”

 

The younger girl stepped back aghast, “N-n-no H-h-he-heda.” There goes the articulation she had going for her.

 

“I believe I have two functioning eyes and would know if what I just witnessed was in fact you and Rievon _joking_ around. I suggest you explain yourself.”

 

\--

 

Clarke came back to a scene that was quite...well she wasn’t entirely sure how to describe it. On one side of the bonfire Lexa and Gustus stood with the wrath of the spirits behind them while Bellamy seemed to be looking around lost by Lincoln who was on his knees crying something unintelligible and Octavia was stuttering wildly…

Sighing she went to step in until Raven lifted her ass off her log and proceeded to walk straight up in her girlfriend’s space. It was then she remembered that Raven probably had the most Moonshine of them all plus whatever the hell was in those weird smelling small cake like chocolates that Jasper gave to each of them. Unlike Raven she had only recently eaten hers after ensuring her friends were acting more or less normal for their drunk selves.

Thankfully Gustus moved to intercept her but Lexa just waved him back as Raven brought her finger up to point right at the Commander.

The mechanic took a deep breath before she lost it.

 

¡Escucha! ¡Soy de Mecha Station y yo tengo orgullo! ¿Sabes lo que pasa en Mecha Station? ¡Cosas malas!

 

All the commotion stopped. Even the trees seemed eerily still. Bellamy stared with his mouth wide open, Lincoln continued to unsuccessfully grovel. Miller was past the point of being zoned out. Harper and Monty were kind of just standing there and staring at the sky...huh. Monroe...where was Monroe? Dafuq.

Clarke spun around searching the area only to come up hopelessly empty as to the girl’s whereabouts.

Well one down she shrugged finally determined to step in. Positioning herself between the volatile latina and the Commander Clarke kept back a smile at seeing Lexa’s gaze soften infinitesimally.

 

“How about we all calm down yeah? I’m sure nothing was meant by whatever was or wasn’t said. Let’s remember my friends are very drunk and in some cases high right now.”

 

The brunette nodded, it was true the Skaikru...and Lincoln...were indeed very inebriated.

 

“Very well hodness. I will let it go but I do have one question for Raven.”

 

Seeing her friend seemed to be calm enough she nodded and stepped back allowing Heda to speak, “¿Qué tipo de cosas malas ?”

 

“¿Qué tipo - qué tipo ... No sé maldición cosas malas !?”

 

“...Very well then. Clarke?”

 

The blonde was pulled out of her own shock and accepted the hand raised towards her, holding back a blush as Lexa took her hand and tenderly kissed the knuckles.

 

“Sha?” Lexa brought her in close, slipping an arm around her waist so she could whisper in her ear

 

“Are you ready to retire for the night ai haiplana?”

 

The blonde bit her lip but nothing could withhold the blush climbing up her neck when one Lexa’s hands started drifting lower and-

 

“Uhhh uh yeah yeah. Let me just.” She turned away from the crook of Lexa’s neck but refused to leave the tight hold around her waist, “Later guys! Ryder I assume you can deal with the Skaikru?”

“Sha wanheda.”

 

She waved, taking Lexa’s hand and making a swift retreat in the general direction of their camp.

 

If they passed some trees to get there well, at least the leaves could provide some privacy if their patience ran out…

 

“So what were you and Octavia arguing about?”

 

Lexa looked at her as if to say, you really want to talk about this now to which Clarke’s raised brow responded, yes.

 

She sighed, “Octavia claimed she and Raven were _joking_ around in an attempt to distract me from the way in which she attempted to shame Raven.”

 

Hearing the enunciation in her words Clarke caught on quite quickly to the root of the problem, “Lex, she didn’t mean _joking_ she meant joking. Like making jokes.”

 

Seeing the cute but bewildered look she continued, “Saying something funny in an attempt to garner laughter, love. Not _Jok_ like fuck or fucking.”

 

Realization dawned after a pause, “Oh your Skaikru sayings. Like saying it is lit when no missiles are present or the time you did not really eat butterflies but they were still in your stomach, or when you call me your girlfriend and while I am a girl I wish to be far more than friends or-”

 

Lips against her own took her breath and gained a moan from her throat, “Yes, yes just like all of those examples now, less talking more…”

 

\--

 

The next morning would see scratched backs, vomit inducing hangovers and some...questionable decisions.

 

“Oh my fuckity fuck shits. The fuck did we drink.” Raven groaned, trying to pull her body off the hard earth below her.

From atop a log Octavia also groaned her complaints and moved just a hair too far, falling off the log and onto her still unconscious lover.

“Fuck if I know, ask Jasper and Monty the little-little _shits_.”

“Fuck, shit, bitch, cu-”

“Raven!” Octavia hissed, “There are children present.”

Raven managed through incredible effort to lift her head and look around, “...no there aren’t.”

The younger brunette rolled off her brother, bringing a grunt off the sleeping figure, “You never know Rae. The trees have eyes and ears and skrish my head is killing me. I’m dying. Just go Raven, save yourself.”

“Don’t you dare die on me you little branwada. We just need food to like suck up the alcohol.”

 

Raven lolled her head around, grabbing hold of a log in front of her face and dragging herself off the ground.

 

If it weren’t for her pounding head she could have cheered at the small chocolate cakes still in the container Jasper brought last night.

 

“Here O we eat these we’ll feel good in no time. Just gotta find some water ok?”

 

Octavia huffed, only able to lift her arm and shoot her friend a thumb’s up.

 

\--

 

“Wooaah.”

“Are you alright love?”

 

Clarke feebly raised her head feeling a weird rise and fall of...something going on up there. It wasn’t like anything she’d ever experienced and it wasn’t even a hangover just a weird up and down feeling that seemed to come like waves on the sea.

 

All she knew was that she was oddly light headed and...free.

 

“Yeah, yeah no I’m fine yeah? Yeah i’m good. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

 

Clarke concentrated just enough to flop her head in what she hoped was a nodding motion, though Lexa’s concerned face seemed to say she had failed in her endeavor.

 

“Are you-” 

“SSSsshhhh...shush Heda. I’m good, Clarke is good Clarke is great even ok? Ok.”

She said nodding as if that would appease the problem

 

While perplexed Lexa did have an urgent meeting to attend and resolved to check on Clarke as soon as it was over.

“I must go meet with the dignitaries but I will have Ryder stay close to the tent in case you need assistance.”

“Right yup that.” In her fog the blonde hadn’t even noticed Lexa’s fully clothed state until said girl reached down to brush her lips against her temple causing Clarke to reach up and initiate a heated kiss.

The brunette grabbed the sides of her face lowering herself away from eager kisses and sighed in regret.

 

“I will be back soon love. Maybe you should rest some more.”

 

She gently eased Clarke back down from her sitting position and covered her bareness with the furs on their bed.

 

“But…”

“I will be back soon.”

 

Finally escaping Clarke’s captivating pull she nodded to Gustus and pulled Ryder aside, “I am not sure what was ingested last night but it does not seem like she has a hangover, try to keep her inside if you can. She still seems quite...uninhibited.”

 

“Sha, Heda, the only thing she had besides the moonshine was the small cakes. The other Skaikru did seem fine at first but after some time they were acting rather...odd.”

She nodded, contemplating this new information, “See if you can get another guard to retrieve the cakes or ask Jasper what was in them. I will see to this myself later.”

 

Ryder bowed, taking up his station by Heda’s tent and waited. From the noises inside it would not be long before Clarke made an appearance. Of what sort he did not care to guess.

 

\--

  


Raven and Octavia found themselves much like they were when they had awoken, lying on their backs. But there was a difference this time in the feeling of weightlessness that had overcome them as they gazed at the sun and the clouds. Oddly content with the world.

 

Octavia turned to Raven then

“Bro.”

 

Raven turned her head to meet her gaze, “Yeah bro?”

 

“You’re the greatest bro ever.”

 

“Yeaahh bro...bro?”

 

“What bro?”

 

“We should tell the whole world that we’re bros.”

 

“We’re bros.” She whispered.

 

“Why you whisper bro?”

 

“Cause you’re my whole world bro.”

 

“Brooooo…”

 

“...do I even want to know what is happening?” Both girls perked up and grinned at the familiar face

 

“Anya!”

 

“Sup bitch!”

 

The Trikru leader rolled her eyes at the more than enthusiastic greetings from Octavia and Raven. It was days like these she wondered why she bothered to come back early from her much needed vacation. She looked back at the warrior with her and reached for the container in Raven’s hand facing little resistance.

 

“Take this to Nyko and let Heda know after her meeting.”

 

The man bowed running. By the time Anya turned back around Raven and Octavia had somehow, almost silently, made it within grabbing distance...their strange smiles are what worried her the most.

 

\--

 

“Ryyyyddeeerrrr. Ohhhh rrrrr. Have you ever tried rolling your r’s beforrre? It’s kind of sexy but like not in a kinky, hold me down, tie me up and call me daddy way more like just a thing. Like a language thing. You know like how some accents just ooze sex appeal? Like that but also not. And also-”

“Wanheda! Perhaps we should take this back inside the tent?

“What but-but no no. I want. I wanted something. What did I want Ryder?”

The poor man shrugged helplessly not wanting to lie to the slayer of the mountain but he promised Heda to keep Clarke in the tent as best he could, “Um, to go back inside?”

Clarke rolled her eyes laughing, “What? No silly no no. Something else. Oh Aden!”

The boy jogged across the camp to bow before Clarke, smiling brightly, “Wanheda. The spirits have blessed us with a glorious day.”

“Uh huh, that. But have you like seen Lexa today?”

 

Aden tilted his head at the weird way Clarke seemed to be flailing her arms in time with her speaking.

 

“Yes I saw Heda earlier.”

Clarke kneeled down by the boy suddenly serious and pressed a heavy hand onto his shoulder staring deeply into his eyes, “Aden...how was she when you saw her?”

Suddenly nervous the boy swallowed, but meeting Ryder’s eyes was able to stay strong, “Heda was fine this morning Wanheda. When I saw her I believe she was ‘being her usual extra self’ and her gait seemed ‘full of panty dropping swag’.”

“Panty dropping...over my dead body.” Aden and Ryder shrunk back at the fury on Clarke’s face and watched her storm over to the other side of camp where the meeting tent was located.

Ryder flicked Aden on the shoulder, “You’ve done it now.”

The boy though fearful was still curious, “Do you know what swag is? Or a panty? And why would Heda’s walk allow such a thing to be dropped? Also how can heda be extra. There is only one of her. You cannot have extra Hedas.”

Ryder shook his head, placing a hand where Clarke’s once was on the boy’s shoulder, “Believe me, the day I try to further understand the Skai sleng is the day I lose part of my mind.”

 

\--

 

Clarke stormed into the war tent. Fortunately the dignitaries had left not too long ago. Unfortunately Lexa remained, alone, but for a young handmaiden who was cleaning up the papers left by their guests.

 

“You panty dropping, swag having little-!”

“Clarke?” She turned to the young girl flicking her hand for her to leave

“Oh no she can stay alright. Someone should witness what I’m about to do to you.”

Clarke rushed forward but Lexa carefully jumped from her chair and used it as a barrier, gritting her teeth she turned to the stun girl again, “Gon we, nau! And tell no one what you have seen.”

 

She cautiously turned back to her furious lover, “Klark-”

“Oh don’t Klark me with your soft voice and sincere eyes and beautiful beautiful face. You do not get to Klark me!”

“But I-”

“Swag!? Since when did you use swag to get chicks? Have you been hanging with Octavia too? Do you and Octavia have something to tell me!?”

 

Seeing her words would get her nowhere Lexa inclined her head and stepped forward

 

“And what the fuck do you think you’re-”

 

Lexa took to her knees and bowed, reminiscent of a time long ago, bringing Clarke to tears.

 

“Oh Clarke. I am sorry. Please do not cry.”

 

She stood, wrapping her arms around the girl she loved, cradling her head with one hand and tightly hugging her with another.

 

“Yorr nff gii sjh.”

Pulling back slightly she wiped the tears from her eyes, “What did you say hodness?”

“I said you can’t keep pulling gay shit like that and expect me to not get emotional. Aden was right you are so extra Lexa. You’re Lextra.” She sobbed, burying her head back into her neck.

 

It was a hard task but necessary to get Clarke back into their tent. Ryder’s shamed gaze met her just outside the meeting tent. There was little she could do to berate him, after all Clarke had quite the temper and the fear of Wanheda was famous across the 13 clans.

 

She sat Clarke down the girl oddly unsteady on her feet and took off her outer clothing, “Leexxxaaahhh.”

 

...she would not allow the sinful tones of Clarke’s voice stop her from changing and getting them food.

 

“Lex _ah_.”

 

“...Clarke.”

 

She removed her outer jacket feeling two arms encircle her waist, “I’m still angry at you _Heda_.”

 

She shivered, reveling in the feeling of being held for a moment before turning and wrapping her arms around her love.

 

“Come Klark, let us relax while you get this out of your system.”

 

“Ok...but only if we can cuddle.”

  
“Then cuddle we will hodness.”


	2. Fluff Off RULES

The Second Annual Clexakru FLUFF-OFF 2K16

8...or so authors have entered with the one job of writing T rated FLUFF involving Clexa for your votes.

 

The only rules are every author involved in the challenge must post their competitors as co-authors. And every fic should have mac_aroni as a coauthor in case you don’t add it to the collection correctly. Every fic must be submitted to this collection to be considered.

**Extra authors were added to help throw some people off.**

The fic must be rated T

The only mandatory tags are: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, fluff

In other words every fic should have fluff and have the clexa pairing. That's about it.

All other tags, fic titles etc...are up to the author. Authors will be revealed the same time as the winner.

The winner will be decided by the number of KUDOS in exactly one week.

Give your kudo to whichever fic you believe was the fluffiest of the bunch.

Votes for each fic will be counted through KUDOS, in the event of a tie BOOKMARKS and finally HITS will be counted. Comments will not be taken into consideration in this challenge.

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone who still didn't quite get it...the small chocolate cakes that smell weird are brownies...weed brownies...bye


End file.
